1st month - Breastfeeding 101

our lil huddy is already a month old, can you believe it?!

the hardest thing so far has been the breastfeeding. our situation might have been different if he wasn't preterm but due to his weak suckling power we had to bottle feed him for the weeks he was in the hospital to get his weight up. i tried to nurse him as much as possible in but had to limit the time in order for him to conserve his energy. he had gotten so used to the bottle that once we got home he had a hard time latching on. i still remember this one night of pure misery as i was trying to get him to latch all night long and he was crying his poor lil eyes out. daddy said not give up by giving him the bottle saying that if the baby is hungry enough he will latch! but this mommy's heart was breaking as i watched my baby cry his eyes out in hunger and ended up crying right along side him. the next day i went to go see a lactation consultant and cried again as i told her how the night went. she was so helpful and told me that letting him cry it out like that does NOT necessarily make him want the breast and reminded me that he's not even term. i felt so inadequate and a failure as a mom but the lactation consultant was so helpful in providing me w/ the tools and advice to be successful with breastfeeding which relieved a lot of the frustration. man, that was truly one of the hardest nights we've had to endure! the bf is going a lot better now as he's able to latch w/ a nipple shield. it's still a pain to have to use that at every feeding...an extra step and can get messy but a step in the right direction. i pray that he'll be able to latch w/ out it soon and hope to get the hang of this thing soon so that feedings don't have to take more than an hour!

lately i've been attending "mom's place", a free class the hospital offers w/ the lactation consultant and nurses every fri's, which has been so helpful and encouraging to be able to hear and share w/ other mother's on our struggles and tiumphs. the biggest blessing about the whole bf is that i seem to have a good supply. my heart goes out to those mother's that are struggling with this because it's hard enough to deal with bf itself but to have to worry about supply must be extremely difficult and painful. on another note, i'm also grateful that he seems to be a pretty mellow baby. he doesn't seem to cry or fuss too much (knock on wood) yet! i was really worried that he might be colic like i was (cried incessantly until i was 3 yrs old - my poor mother ) but good thing he has daddy's temperament!

my concern these days are how i'm ever going to be able to leave the house w/ a baby. it seems and sounds impossible but everyone has told me to wait until the 3 month mark when things will be easier.

also, my mom's been here the past week and already has to leave today! hudson is going to miss his halmunee soo much! she has been super helpful and so loving and wonderful to our huddy. he definitely gets a lot of love from both families as he's the first grandson on both sides! we hope to visit tucson in a couple of months so that he can meet his harabujee too!

i'm already sad that he's growing so fast but we're so grateful that this preterm baby is thriving! his stats from his one month check up:

height : 21 in
weight: 8 lb 8 oz (gained 3 lbs already!)
head circumference: 35 cm